Hold On A Minute There, Al, The Peeping Tom Just Got 54,000 Votes

Just 24 days ago, Will Gardner, the Republican Party’s nominee for North Dakota Secretary of State, announced he was dropping out of the race after news stories surfaced about him being arrested (and convicted) for peeking in windows at women’s dormitories at North Dakota State University.

You might have been a bit hasty there, Will. Republicans apparently don’t care about things like that. Because yesterday, 54,000 of them voted to make you the next Secretary of State anyway. In fact, you got 17,000 more votes than your party’s Congressional nominee, Kelly Armstrong.

So, now what?

Al Jaeger, who holds the office now and has pledged to run for re-election as an Independent this fall, is sitting in his office this morning, waiting for a letter from you. Because, ironically, in order to fulfill your pledge to drop out of the race, you have to send Al a letter telling him that.

So, Will, assuming you have time today to write that short letter saying you decline the Republican Party’s nomination for Secretary of State, as given to you by 54,000 eager Republican voters Tuesday, put a stamp on an envelope and take it to the Post Office, it should arrive in Al’s mailbox Thursday.

Unless you’re busy today, and don’t get around to it for a few days, and then you start thinking “Well, gee, 54,000 Republicans want me to be their candidate . . .”

So what’s Al Jaeger to do? Call up Will Gardner and say “Hey, Will, I’ve got to get out there and get a thousand signatures on my petitions. You gonna send me that letter pretty soon?”

We’ll see. If I were Al Jaeger, I wouldn’t hold my breath.

In other election news, weird shit happened in Bismarck yesterday. I don’t remember the last time an incumbent Bismarck Mayor got defeated for re-election—it may have happened in my lifetime here, but I don’t recall—but it happened yesterday.

Bismarck voters chose a rompin’, stompin’ cowboy over a Mayor I think they perceived as a bit of a weenie, ignoring the fact that their new Mayor, Steve Bakken, has a rap sheet that includes bankruptcies, drunk driving arrests, judgements for unpaid bills and state taxes, and getting fired from at least two jobs for “inappropriate behavior.” That’s the new Mayor of North Dakota’s Capitol City.  Yikes!

But then, these are the same voters who chose a girls bicycle seat-sniffing window peeper as their candidate for Secretary of State, so what’s the surprise? Voters in Bismarck gave the rebel Bakken 6,300 votes for Mayor, roughly the same number they gave Will Gardner for Secretary of State. I’m guessing they were pretty much the same people voting for the two of them.

So, as far as the Republicans being the party of “values,” forget about that. I mean, they elected a pussy-grabbing President. Not much surprises me anymore. I’d say the Democrats better get their shit together one of these days. We get the government we deserve.

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