Caution: Some Language May Not Be Appropriate For Some Children And Legislators

I know, I know, that headline might be redundant. Some “Children” and “Legislators.” Luckily, I have two good Legislators, Sen. Sean Cleary and Rep. Bob Martinson, who both voted against SB 2307, the school and library censorship bill. But not so my third Legislator. I won’t print her name here, but her initials are Karen Karls. (Danged AI filled them in!)

Over in the North Dakota Capitol this Monday morning, SENATE BILL 2307 is now sitting on Governor Armstrong’s desk, awaiting a signature or a veto. The bill has some goofy language about books in our libraries and schools. Here’s the title:

AN ACT to create and enact a new subsection to section 12.1-27.1-01 and two new sections to chapter 12.1-27.1 of the North Dakota Century Code, relating to the definition of a public library, required safety policies and technology protection measures, and the state’s attorney’s review of public libraries, school districts, and state agencies for compliance with statutes protecting minors from explicit sexual material; to amend and reenact subsection 5 of section 12.1-27.1-01, subsection 2 of section 12.1-27.1-03.1, and sections 12.1-27.1-03.5 and 12.1-27.1-11 of the North Dakota Century Code, relating to obscenity control; to provide for a report to the legislative management; and to provide a penalty.  

Well. My Legislature is seeing fit to redefine what a “public library” is. Here’s what will be part of North Dakota law if the 2025 Legislature has its way:

“As used in this chapter, the term ‘public library’ means a library containing collections of books or periodicals or both for the general population to read, borrow, or refer to which is supported with funds derived from taxation.”

Well, again. Now the Legislators will know what a library is. I’m guessing they had to put the definition in state law because most of them have never been to one.

But bill titles can be misleading. Extracting from that gobbledygook, here’s what the bill really says:

Public libraries and school districts will be prohibited from having naughty stuff on their shelves.

It’s such a bad bill that it was vetoed by our last governor (you won’t ever be reading his name in my columns again after all the shit (oops, that just got me stricken from the library) he’s pulled in Washington lately.

Now, I’m married to a retired Librarian (that word is always capitalized in my columns) so I’ve kind of paid attention to the goings-on over this bill. But never so much as when I got a copy of an e-mail sent to our Attorney General last week.

This fellow in Florida, Chaz Stevens, who labels himself as a “First Amendment Firebrand,” wrote to Drew Wrigley to point out what he considers “unintended consequences” of the bill if it becomes law. He sent me a copy of his e-mail, for some strange reason. Looking for publcity I guess. Here’s part of what he wrote:

Your state’s new anti-obscenity law, SB 2307, is so broadly written it ensnares the very texts many hold sacred. Let’s examine the unintended consequences:

Exhibit 1: The Bible. SB 2307’s dragnet snares scripture:

•Incest and orgies (Genesis 19:30-38)

•Horse-sized lust (Ezekiel 23:20)

•Cannibal curses (Leviticus 26:29)

•Baby-smashing psalms (Psalm 137:9)

If this isn’t “obscene,” your law’s a paper tiger.

Exhibit 2: Merriam-Webster Dictionary Definitions include:

•“Masturbation,” “oral sex,” “intercourse”

•“F*ck,” “sh*t,” and “a**hole”

•Clinical filth under the guise of reference

•My personal favorites–“getting it on”, “kinky”, and, well, the C-word. If Webster’s too spicy, what’s safe?

SB 2307 lets anyone demand your take, so here’s mine:

Does your law ban the Bible, Webster’s, and Roget’s?

Say no, and it’s a toothless prop for grandstanding.

Say yes, and your churches lose their Good Book.

Pick your poison, General—your law’s on trial.

Well, first of all, he keeps referring to it as a law, but it’s not. It’s a bill, and it won’t become a law unless Governor Armstrong signs it.

But, of course, he’s got a point. There are a lot of bad words in the dictionary. Well, at least a dozen or so, out of 315,000.

I looked in mine. The “c” words are there, both the short one and the long one. Here are some other examples of what he’s talking about.

I suppose those are words we really don’t want our 2^nd or 5^thgraders to read. But then, kids don’t pick up the dictionary much these days. In our own Bismarck Veterans Memorial Public Library, the reference section is waaay back in a corner, and the dictionary is so big and heavy you’d have to be at least a 6^th grader to get it off the shelf. But our kids get all the info they want on their computers. Well, yep, those words are on their computers too. So do we ban computers from libraries and schools?

And then there are those troubling bible passages.

Genesis 19:30-38

³⁰ And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.

³¹ And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:

³² Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

³³ And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

³⁴ And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

³⁵ And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

³⁶ Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.

³⁷ And the first born bare a son, and called his name Moab: the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.

³⁸ And the younger, she also bare a son, and called his name Benammi: the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day.

Yeah, I guess that would be called incest today. And the other examples he points out are not pretty either.

Ezekiel 23:20)

For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

Leviticus 26:29

 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

Psalm 137:9

Happy the one who takes and dashes
Your little ones against the rock!

“The issue of horses!” Really!       

The thing is, I don’t think the Bible is jumping off the shelves into the hands of school-age children in our libraries and classrooms. And yes, the bible is on their computers too.

Well, anyway, this Stevens fellow seems to be a bit of a gadfly. He took issue with the many Biblical references to rape, bestiality, cannibalism and infanticide. “In the end, if Jimmy and Susie are curious about any of the above, they can do what everyone else does – get a room at the Motel Six and grab the Gideons,” he wrote.

He claims to have stopped Ron DeSantis in Florida from implementing a book ban, but I can’t see much success there, since I just read that Florida banned more books in schools last year than all of the other 49 states combined. A couple years ago Florida banned 54 math textbooks for including references to critical race theory. Math books?

Stevens is pretty full of himself, even if he is mostly on a mission for good. He’s got a 6,000 word Wikipedia page, with 103 footnotes.

Still, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, because he’s right about this bad, bad, bad, bad, bill. I really hope the Governor isn’t afraid to take on his party’s legislators, and that he vetoes it. But I did send an e-mail to Drew Wrigley asking him to please send me a copy of any response he sends to Mr. Stevens. I haven’t heard from Drew yet. Maybe Chaz hasn’t either.

I’m keeping an eye on the Governor though. C’mon, Kelly, drop that thing into the circular file under your desk, and tell the Legislature where they can find it. Or shove it.